Healing Wounds
by ryans daughter
Summary: This is a follow on a few months after critical condition how Danny and Linda deal with the aftermath of what went on in the bank


This was a story I wrote after Critical Condition, but I never posted until now. Hope you think it was worth putting on if you read and would love you to review if you have the time. As always I do not own any of the characters and always give them back in one piece.

HEALING WOUNDS

It had been over two months now since Danny had walked into the hostage situation at the bank, with no back up and no gun. Linda had told him in no uncertain terms at the time, how she hated what he did and he had realised how rash his decision making had hurt his wife.

He told her he loved her more than life itself and it was the truth, but something seemed to have changed between them. They seemed to have lost a little bit of what they had and he didn't seem to have the fight left in him to try and get it back.

After a long gruelling day, Danny parked up in the drive of his home and could see the lights on in the lounge through the blinds. It was dark and cold outside and the house looked so warm and inviting and normally he would have been through the door in a flash, relishing seeing his wife and boys. But lately it seemed like going home meant finishing an earlier argument or starting a fresh one and Danny was tired of it.

Linda had always seemed different from most cops wives, she never normally gave him a hard time when work made him late home, or when he didn't even make it home. Missed birthdays and changes to plans were just something she seemed to live with. But since the thing with Billy Flood, Linda seemed to have changed, become harder, colder, a little more distant and Danny couldn't work out what to do about it.

He took a deep breath before getting out of the car and telling himself to make more of an effort to try and get through at least one night without snapping at Linda or the boys.

"Hey guys I'm home" he shouted in his most cheerful voice.

The lounge was empty but he could hear the boys upstairs in their bedrooms. Linda came in from the kitchen and smiled.

"Hey how was your day?" she asked as she kissed him.

Wanting to make an effort with his wife he put his arms around her waist, keeping her close to him.

"It was tough but lets not worry about that now," he kissed her gently on the lips enjoying the closeness he had missed of late.

"Where are the kids?" he asked with a smile, but before Linda could answer, Sean came bounding down the stairs.

"Hi Dad!" Sean said, as he breezed past his parents and sat on the sofa.

"What you been up to kiddo?" Danny asked his son as he moved from Linda and sat beside Sean, suddenly realising he hadn't seen his son awake in over a week.

"Have you missed your old man?" he asked his youngest son, as he ruffled his hair.

Sean shrugged his shoulders and without looking at Danny replied, "I'm getting used to it now. Bobby said this is what happens before you split up altogether, so I'm trying to get used to you not being here, so when you do go I should be ok."

Linda looked from Danny to Sean before kneeling in front of Sean as Danny grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.

"Why did your friend tell you about what happens when people split up sweetie?" Linda asked Sean, her stomach turning in knots.

Sean, realising he might have said the wrong thing, began to clam up.

"I can't remember," he muted before trying to move off the sofa and head back up to his bedroom.

"Hold on Sean," Danny said. "Why would Bobby be telling you about what happens when I leave. Is that what you think is going to happen. Do you think I am leaving you?"

Sean feeling scared started to cry, and Linda wrapped him in her arms.

Before Danny could reassure Sean any further, Jack appeared on the stairs.

"Why are you telling him you're staying when we already know that you are going to split up?" Jack shouted at Danny.

Danny spun around to see Jack was also in tears & holding on to the staircase. As Danny tried to approach Jack, he was shocked when his son yelled, "Why don't you just go now so we can get used to it. Nicky told us what happens, you say you are going to stay but keep fighting till you make Mom really sad, then you leave anyway and meet someone else and forget all about us."

Danny wipes a hand over his face and looks to Linda, who to is now in tears.

"Jack, Sean… I promise you, me and your mom are not even thinking about splitting up, I swear to you. Isn't that right Linda?" He looks to Linda for some help and she shakes her head.

"Boys we are so sorry," she whispers. "I know me and your dad have been shouting at one another a bit lately, but boys, we love you and each other very much. I promise we are not even thinking about splitting up. We have been silly letting thing that grown ups have to worry about get in the way of being nice to each other just lately, but I promise you boys, from tonight that stops, ok?"

Danny moves around to Linda and puts his arm around her to try and show a united front.

"Boys all parents argue, its normal," he tells the boys, in a voice breaking with emotion.

"But that doesn't mean we are going anywhere, and it doesn't mean we don't love each other very much."

Danny reaches down to look at Sean, and his heart breaks at how upset he has made his little boy. "Seano, I am so sorry you felt scared, but hey, I have never lied to you have I. Nothing is wrong Sean ok?"

Sean nods and Danny envelopes him in his arms and holds him tight.

"You ok champ?" Danny asks when he finally lets Sean from his grasp. He lifts him into his arms and walks over to Jack, who is still holding onto the staircase, tears streaming down his face. With his free hand Danny grabs Jack to him and kisses the top of his head, before putting Sean on the bottom stair and hugging both boys to him.

Linda walks over and places her arms around them all, each of them just holding onto each other for what seems like an eternity, before Linda pulls away and holds Danny.

As the boys see their parents hugging they smile, as Jack tells them through small sobs, "We just love you both so much, we didn't want Dad to leave us."

Danny, his face pale, bends so he is at eye level with Jack and Sean.

"Look Jack, I'm not saying me and your mom will never fight again, but if you ever feel worried about anything that we do, I want you to be able to come to me and tell me what you are feeling, ok?"

Jack looks away then taking his chance says, "But you are never here anymore Dad for us to talk to. You are always busy with a case or somewhere else that you would rather be, than at home with us, so we just thought you didn't love us anymore."

Danny is mortified that his kids could ever think he didn't love them. He feels guilty that his failure to go home at night made his kids feel so unloved. He knew that his actions during the hostage situation had far reaching consequences with Linda, but he didn't realise how much it had affected his sons.

"Do you know now that I love you both?" he asked his sons, in almost a whisper, grateful when both boys nod their heads.

"I know I have been a jerk lately and don't deserve it, but any chance you two boys could give me a hug, because I really need one right now."

Before Danny could say another word, Sean and Jack were on top of him, and before long the house was again filled with shrieks of laughter, as Danny and the boys play wrestled as Linda watched from the kitchen, still shaken from what the boys had said, but just grateful her family was back on track.

After the boys were safely tucked up in bed, and Danny had assured them both once more they had nothing to worry about, he came down the stairs and slumped on the sofa next to Linda. He let out a huge sigh as he wiped his hand over his face.

"How the hell did we get here?" he asked, as Linda put her head in her hands before rubbing her face. Turning to Danny, she looked so sad.

"Danny, we need to talk properly," she told him.

"I'm not blaming you for this ok. But since that thing in the bank, I just haven't been able to get over it. I know that I have been on your case since then, and that is why you probably haven't wanted to be around much lately. But now it's affecting the kids. We need to sort it out once and for all. Do you agree?"

Danny paused before he answered. "I guess that depends what you mean by sorting it out?"

Linda gave a mock laugh. "I don't even know what I mean myself, I think I mean we should be honest with each other over what that day did to us, and take it from there."

Danny gestured to Linda. "Go on then, you go first."

Linda looked at Danny.

"Before I start, please don't think I'm trying to make you out to be a bad husband, or I don't love you, because if that were true we wouldn't even be here. But sometime you take chances and it's got to the point now, where I'm almost preparing myself for the day your luck runs out. That's why I have been short with you. I was trying to push you away, so if you did go out one day and didn't come back, I thought somehow it would be easier to deal with."

Breaking down Linda tried to continue. "But it won't be easier and I just can't seem to get past the fact one day you will end up like Joe…"

Danny didn't answer Linda straight away, he didn't move or react at all. Linda grabbed his hand, her heart breaking, and a lifetime of being married to a cop flooding out.

"Do you want me to quit?" he finally said, in a voice unmost unheard.

"I just want you to be safe Danny," Linda said, choking back the tears.

"Since you came back from Iraq is like you have to push yourself to the edge all the time, as if you don't deserve to be here."

Danny flinched when Linda said that, as if someone had reached into his soul and found his darkest fears and wrote them on a wall for the world to see. He took a ragged breath before he continued.

"When I was in Iraq I was just grateful that I made it through each day, all I could think about was staying safe and getting home to you and the boys. I saw men and kids just blown up right in front of me and when I came home it played on my mind."

"While I'm working I don't have to think about it, I can block it out, then when someone's life is in danger, I think is this why I made it back home, so I could save this person? Then the next situation arises and I just can't walk away, cause if I don't try and save that person it's like I came home from Iraq for nothing. That why I do what I do."

"I'm scared if I don't try and save people, I am betraying the one we had to leave in that God forsaken dessert. But maybe I was just lucky. I got home because I did and I don't need to keep trying to justify the fact I am still alive."

"So I guess I just need to be glad I did make it home, and start enjoying my life without feeling guilty when I am happy, and stop thinking I don't deserve you and the boys and just realise I am so lucky to have you and treasure every minute I have with you. That's if you still want to be with me?"

He hadn't once looked at Linda the whole time he spoke, he just kept his eyes fixed on the wall ahead of him, so he hadn't seen her place a hand over her mouth to try and hush the sobs that made her body shake. Danny, who was now looking at his wife, seemed to collapse into her arms, both of them emotionally drained.

When Danny could finally speak, he told Linda, "I know I have said sorry a million times to you, and it must seem like a hollow word to you each time I say it, but truly, truly I am so sorry, and I promise you from now on, you and the boys are my number one priority. If you want me to quit I will. I will do whatever it takes to make us work again, just as long as you still want me around."

Linda laughs almost hysterically.

"Now I get it. All those times you put yourself in danger. I just wish you could have told me sooner, maybe I could have helped you. But I don't want you to quit, you are a great cop, the best. But I want you to find peace to be able to sleep at night and hopefully from now on you can."

She rubbed her hand down the side of Danny's face and ran her fingers through his hair, just needing that contact with her husband.

Feeling at last she may have finally got back the man she loves with every fibre of her body.

She lifts his face to hers and whispers, "I love you so much Danny Reagan, I promise I will never give up on you."

Then that smile that made her fall in love with him all those years ago, but seemed to have abandoned him of late, flashed over his face and made his eyes light up, taking away the dark circles that seemed to haunt him of late.

As Linda moved herself into Danny's side, ready to snuggle down in front of the fire together, Danny moved her to one side and stood up. He moved towards the kitchen, his cell phone in his hand.

"I just need to do one thing then I'm yours for the night babe," he said as he winked at Linda before disappearing into the kitchen.

Linda smiles and got herself comfortable on the sofa. She heard Danny talking on his cell and she strained her ear to try and hear what it was he was saying, but his voice was too quiet so she waited for him to return to her. After a few minutes Danny returned, and she watched as he turned his cell phone off and placed it into the draw of the dresser.

"What's going on Danny?" she asks, knowing his cell phone is always on while he is working a case.

Danny gives her another smile that makes her stomach flip over as he tells her who he has been speaking to.

"I've had a word with my sergeant and Jackie. I have some leave due so I am taking it as of now. I thought I needed to spend some time with you guys away from this cold damp weather."

Linda sat up wondering what her husband was planning.

"So, as I have been such an idiot lately, if I book for us all to go to Disney World do you think you could maybe forgive me a little?" Danny asks, his face beaming as Linda jumps up and hugs him.

"That would be perfect, the kids are going to love it," Linda laughs as Danny swings her around.

"Can I go and wake them and let them know now?" Danny asks Linda, looking like a little boy on Christmas morning and before Linda can answer, two sleepy heads appear at the top of the stairs.

"Daddy what's all the noise?" Jack asked, rubbing his eyes.

Danny smiles to Linda. "Well they are awake now anyway so we might as well tell them…" he says, shrugging his shoulders, his eyes begging Linda to agree to his plan.

"Come here boys, I want to tell you something," he says pulling them to him on the sofa.

"How about me and your mom take you guys away for a few days?"

The boys look between each other, "Yeah," Jack finally says as both boys nod to him.

Danny laughs as he says, "So how does two weeks in Disney World sound, starting from next week?"

Before anyone could say anything else, Sean and Jack had jumped on top of Linda and Danny, kissing and hugging then screaming with delight.

As Danny savoured this moment, he knew this was the beginning of the rest of his life and he could finally lay to rest the ghosts that haunted him, from that hell on earth he fought in, to rest and to start & rebuild his life, with the love of his wife and kids to help him through the bad days.

As he let himself bathe in the love of his family, he knew from now on he didn't have to storm into a hostage situation to feel he was making good of his life. It was all there waiting for him to return home, safe from every shift he worked.


End file.
